he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
