Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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