I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
