guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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