I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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