Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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