idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
