I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
