I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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