i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
