I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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