Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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