Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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