i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
