what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
