I accidentally had phone sex last night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
