actually, I'm a sock model
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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