I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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