On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
