You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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