her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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