her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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