imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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