Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
