He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
