That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
