It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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