I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize