you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
nutella sex= disaster
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
