I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize