The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
