Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
