Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
