woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize