Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
