a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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