haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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