don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
