i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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