I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
