Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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