wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
