I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
