It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
