Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
