I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
