I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
