Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have feelings that need drinking.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize