alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize