you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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