i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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