they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
