I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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