haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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