Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
