I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize