Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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