I love black thongs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
