Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she looked like the before picture.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I will be naked everywhere
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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