girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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