He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
