i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
