problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
