More tranny stories later!
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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