p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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